Living in the Slow Lane

The Slow Lane: That’s the lane I seldom take. That just shows my fast-lane mind set, most likely affected by our fast lifestyle in this part of the world. Oh, and it is not just here in the United States. When we were living in Singapore between 1988 to 1997, I did feel a difference in the speed of life: the moment I set foot in our home in Singapore after a month’s vacation in the Philippines, I felt the urgency of getting things done fast: let’s hurry to cook, so that we can eat, and hurry to sleep so that we can hurry the next morning for work, school, and other things. When we moved here in Maryland, it has gotten worse. Multitasking is the rule of life: eating while driving, cooking while cleaning, … you can say I am badly infected.

Well, I happened upon “The Power of Less,” an audio book by Leo Babauta, a self-proclaimed minimalist, and I got interested. His recommendations are antidotes for the possession-obsessed, fast-food-crazed, multi-tasking internet generation. They hit a chord in me, and it seems that many of us are seeking to put a stop to this crazy lifestyle that is bringing us to our early disability, or death. So, here is my take on what I have learned, trying to simplify my life, and my results so far.

Babauta proposes that in order for us to simplify, we have to decide what our goals are, decide what are essential in order to reach that goal, and then eliminate the rest of activities, commitments, and things that do not contribute to those goals. And he is big on slowing down and decluttering.

So I started with slowing down. And single tasking. One area I really have to work on is to give myself enough time for appointments. One day I was running late, but had to go to the bathroom. I hit my elbow on the wall. Ouch! After I washed my hands, I picked up my cane which fell on the floor, and when I stood up, I hit my head on the counter. Aray! One day I rushed to a meeting, late, sat on the only empty chair in front of the room, asked questions, only to find out later that I wore my vest inside out! I can tell you many more incidents, but I am sure you have yours too, which are not much different from mine, some funny, some close calls, others downright dangerous for ourselves and others.

My husband told me he is worried that I might fall off the stairs at home. But it is not the limping that falls down the stairs, the one who is in a huge hurry does. Whenever I find myself in rush mode, I take a deep breath and slow down. What is really important? One day I was telling a friend of our traffic misery – ticketed for overspeeding. She was in a gray mood herself: on her way back from Pennsylvania she was ticketed twice. Our impatience will not only unnecessarily waste our money, but would also bring us accidents if not checked in time.

And I realize that slowing down is what God wants of us too. He wants us to be more aware of the world around us, to enjoy his gifts daily. The sun, the breeze, the clouds, the sky, rain, snow, flowers, birds – the list is endless, actually. Would it not please God when we enjoy his gifts more? Add to that the fact that when we are not in a hurry we are able to take a good look at our neighbors and listen to them more, paying attention to what they might have in their hearts. It is in the sound of their voices, in their eyes, in the body language. Perhaps we will be able to lift them up a bit better when we really slow down and listen.

These days I try to watch the sunrise, look closely at how our world looks early in the day. When my husband talks to me, I try to stop and look at him, and ask questions, trying to get the feeling behind his words. I stop by my coworker’s cubicle and ask her about her day, look at her eyes and listen, squashing down thoughts that I should get to my job quickly. I eat slowly and savor my food more, check facebook and e-mails twice a day and not more than 30 minutes each time.I am not there yet, I still have a long way to go, but I find myself more content, happier even. My circumstances remain the same: multiple myeloma, there are even suspicious baby myeloma growing in my spine, and both upper arms (calling them “baby” is less fearsome), and who knows where else or if they have grown to be preschoolers or teen-agers now. My weekly treatments is depressing my immune system: fatigue, I easily catch colds, even my fingernails are dull. But I am more consistent with my schedule, enjoying most of my days because I am able to put in time for the most important tasks, and have some time to do the things I love. I have decluttered my living room and a few drawers, and I smile now when I look at my bed, dresser and tables. I’ll say that’s a big improvement!

So I will keep this up, and sharpen myself in other areas as well. In the end, what really matters is that I look forward to each day with joy and not dread. And whatever the next day brings, whether it be death or life, I can say that I have lived my life. And hope to say that it had been a life of blessing.