Letter, October 2010

Bacolod Adventist Medical Center, Rm # 316
Taculing, Bacolod City, Philippines
October 7, 2010

Dear Family and Friends,

Thank you so much for all your prayers for me in my most recent brush with death. It was a most terrifying experience.I was in Isabela, Negros Occidental spending time with my mother and some family members. I developed a high grade fever. My brother and sister-in-law, both doctors, examined me immediately, to rule out dengue! The fever persisted for four days – I was examined twice a day, my blood counts were checked daily, and everything seemed to point to a viral infection, without any sign of rash or dengue.

At the 4th day, my fever abated, and, lo, I saw scary looking petticheae on my legs. I called my brother and asked that I be reserved a room at BSH, because I am going there for admission. My platelet count the previous day was 98 (thousand), so I was not that concerned.

At the ER, after all the preliminaries, I waited for the aide to take me up to my room. My brother looked concerned (so that was how he looked when he is stressed!)– the ER nurse said my platelet count was “low” but avoided saying the actual figure… however, the admitting PGI spilled the beans, “it was 4!” he told me.

I was speechless for a few seconds. I know the normal is way up there – at least 150thousand… maybe 300,000. And here am I – closer to zero, closer to death than to life.

There is nothing else to do but talk to the Lord. I had prepared for this time in my mind over and over again several times in the past. So now, what will I do? Nothing more, except talk with God, say my goodbyes to my family, and relax and wait for the time when I walk that magic door that will take me “home.” My husband and son are in Maryland, Shari is on her way here and will be here tomorrow. I hope she will be here on time.

Well, there’s nothing else to do but wait. I recited the verses that I committed to memory: Psalm 103

Praise the LORD, my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
Praise the LORD, my soul, and forget not all his benefits—
who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion,
who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.

There were other verses too, and they all kept me calm. That special paragraph from the “Desire of Ages” that I came across with recently in my reading:
“The omnipotent power of the Holy Spirit is the defense of every contrite soul.....With Him there can be no such thing as failure, loss, impossibility or defeat; we can do all things through Him who strengthens us...”

Giving up/giving in is the easy way out – fighting is so much harder, it requires a lot more from oneself. I had been tempted to give up, but that would be denying my faith. This is the time where the proverbial “face to face with fear’” or something like that is so true to me, but face it I will.

So here am I today, waiting for my body to regulate itself and dreaming of the time when I can get out of this hospital and go home. Home sounded so good!

Whew! We really do not realize what a precious gift we have in this amazing bodies we have. We are surely fearfully and wonderfully made!

Until next time, if ever there will still be a next time.

I love you all.