Of Sleeplessness & Alzheimer's

Today I had been up at 3:48 am, which has been my weekly cycle since February of this year. I take steroid on Wednesday evenings, and for the next three days I wake up around 3:00 a. m.. To maintain ‘sleep hygiene,’ I stay in bed until around 7:00 a. m., tossing and turning, sometimes drifting back to sleep for an hour or so before my digestive system sounds the ‘alarm,’ telling me it is time to get up.

Loss of sleep affects my immune system making me susceptible to temperature changes, infections and the like. Yet, the time alone in the quiet of the night also has its advantages - it gives me time to think, pray and make great plans for my day – and at times, for my life. One time I sang “Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing,” all three stanzas, in my dream, sleep that was so shallow I heard myself singing the last couple of notes! Another time, my night thoughts cleaned all the rooms in the house - funny, I felt I accomplished a lot when I woke up, even before I held a broom. Well, let’s just say I cleaned better in my dream…(smile!)

Anyway, my will to write got a push when I learned about what happened to a friend recently. He was one of our bosses some time back. He was brilliant, smart, widely-read, and caring to his people. Now, he is suffering from Alzheimer’s disease and cannot do things on his own. His mind was taken over by something else – it is sad to see him this way, and I cannot help but wonder what would life be like if I was in his place?

I am most scared of losing my mind – to me, it is worse than losing my body. Is there anything I can do to avoid this plague? Memorization? Exercise? Reading the Bible? Scrabble, Sudoko, Crossword Puzzle? Raw Food? Vacations?

I can keep on writing out my thoughts. This is one of the things I enjoy doing, and at the same time this is an opportunity to leave something for my loved ones and their families when I depart from this world – in addition to their meager financial inheritance! Only God knows what poisons I ingest daily in the name of cancer medicine! With blogging, and journaling, death or Alzheimer’s or dementia will not be so fearful because I leave a little bit of myself through what I have written. Perhaps this will provide me peace and calm as I live each day.

“When people say, ‘She got everything, I’ve only one answer,” I haven’t had tomorrow.’” Elizabeth Taylor (1932 - )