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Thursday, June 3, 2010

Dry Months

For some time it had been difficult to write for this blog. Nothing good came out, even as I sat and stared at the computer for the longest time. Of course, there are reasons:

1. Could it be because of my oral chemotherapy? I had been on a combination of Revlimid/Dexamethasone/Clarithromycin for close to a year now, and this has caused several health issues. Last summer 2009, my kappa/lambda ratio shot up, so I was placed on an oral chemo regimen. This means my illness is now considered chronic, and had to be treated with one of the myriad drug combinations for multiple myeloma. Result: sleepless nights, easily gets sick, fatigue, inability to concentrate, diabetes, asthma, etc, etc, etc. I have first hand experience on what ‘writhing in pain’ really is, and one bout of pneumonia brought me close to death’s doors, or so I thought. I will spare you the details – this is boring stuff and will not help anyone. Let us just say that some days are better than others, and leave it like that, okay?

2. Was it due to my part time job? Sometimes I think our jobs stifle our creativity. If you have to alphabetize 4,000 badges and do data entries all the time – the creative juices seemed to have dried up and even if one squeeze the hardest, the trickles come few and far between!


3. Is it because of Facebook? I finally succumbed to the invitations last year – it seemed that the whole community is in it. Acquaintances who disappeared from my life for 30 years suddenly show up, and it was great to know what is going on, especially on close friends and relatives. Yet, for all the good facebooking brings, I find that it takes up time, and crowds out deeper thinking. As they say, sometimes ‘good’ becomes the enemy of ‘best.’

So, dear friends and family, here am I, in one of my sleepless nights, giving you the perfect alibi as to why this blog had not been moving for a long, long time. I dreamed about it, wanted to do it, started writing but never finished it.

Hmmn, what should I give up:
a) my oral chemo? B) part time job? C) facebook? D) All of the above?

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