Flashback: October 10, 2006

Going through the letters I sent these past 2 years, I decided to post this one. I was on an oral chemo regimen consisting of a steroid and thalidomide during this time - it lasted 6 or 7 months. Just hoping that this letter may lift your spirits up...
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October 10, 2006

Dear Family and Friends,

I should have written this letter a long time ago, but it seems that time passes by so quickly that it is gone before I realize it. I have lots of alibi, though, such as treatments, meal planning, long distance calls, appointments to be made, feeling fatigued, etc. I know I owe you a note or two, you dear people who have lifted me up in the wings of prayer from day one of this ordeal. You knocked heaven’s doors in my behalf, and many of you do not even know me – I am fortunate to be united with you in the worldwide circle of brotherhood that is our church. I do not know how else to thank you, except to say, “Thank You,” from the bottom of my heart.

I am on the second month of my chemotherapy, and I praise the Lord for the minimal side effects that I encountered so far. I am able to do things at home, able to think well, walk around using my cane, and go on outings. I am considering going back to work soon, but at the same time thinking that a year off from work and allowing my body to heal would be great, too, isn’t it?

After this second month of chemo, I will be evaluated for presence of proteins in my blood and plasma, and then further treatments will be recommended. From what I heard from my doctors, it looks like they will continue this regimen for a couple more months – until December 06, and then – the difficult part will begin. I will spare you the details of that right now, I have not processed that part yet. Maybe I will just tell you that my multiple myeloma is the aggressive type, with good short term response to medication, but responds very poorly in terms of long term survival.

In addition to fighting this battle, a couple of weeks ago I got news from home that my younger brother, an engineer in a ship was in an accident and had craniotomy in Brazil. Last week, I received news that he died. I feel a little bit of what Job must have felt. His body will be in Iloilo City, Philippines on the Oct 12, and they have planned the interment on Oct 22.

It is only when we are in the center of these events that we see life as it really is, and I am sure the Lord gives such experiences to us for a purpose. One great thing that has happened to my family from this experience is that we draw ourselves close to the Lord, for where else should we turn? I am now a very teachable student – Bible verses come to life and “burns” me when I read them. Ministry of Healing is my other textbook – oh, I hope you will not wait for sickness before you read these precious words– they lift me and my family up every day.

The hymns, the songs speak the prayer of my heart, and they take on a different meaning to me. I pray to the Lord in these songs, and they are such a blessing. These faith-filled songs drives sorrows, sadness, heaviness of heart away. I also draw courage from the fact that others went through the same road as I am traveling today.

Right now, I am doing fine. I am taking this fight one day at a time. I walk for thirty minutes two times a day, eat lots of salads and raw food as possible, go to bed on time (this has been my battle ever since), and be outdoors as much as possible, and relax. I had been advised to live a full life, enjoy each day as I can – I will take this. And you should, too. Maybe we will meet in some of our travels in the future.

One of the great things I’m so blessed with at this time is hearing the prayers of the brethren on my behalf, over the phone, or personally – what prayers! These people are friends of the Lord, period. I have no doubt that heaven hears their prayers, and I am so blessed to have heard them personally.

Well, one friend sent me the refrain of this song, “God is too wise to be mistaken, God is too good to be unkind. If you cannot see His plan, if you cannot trace His hand, if you do not understand, trust His heart.” For now, I will just have to trust His heart.

My husband had been a rock of support to us all. He had learned a great deal about domestic duties since the time I was hospitalized, but I know he is fervently praying for a reliever from his kitchen rotation.

Again, thank you for thinking of me. Please help me thank and praise the Lord for trusting me enough to send me and my family these situations so that we can be servants He desires us to be. Please take care of yourselves, too.

Sincerely yours,

Ana