May Sunshine

It is amazing that it is already the second week of May. Indeed time waits for no one!

The days have warmed up now, and I am proud to say that I am keeping up with my exercises. Today I walked around Lake Artemesia where there is a paved trail around the lake. The light green leaves of the trees glimmered in the sunshine, the birds were out and singing, the lake was peaceful with a few water lilies starting to bloom.

My leg seems to be stronger since I started walking again – I have no choice but to walk because the restrooms are placed way at the center of the park, about a mile from the parking lot! Of course I enjoy the exercise and the time alone in such a beautiful scenery.
A lot of things happened since I was diagnosed with multiple myeloma. What I thought was just a pulled muscle turned out to be something real big.

One day in April 2006, a colleague was quite down because of the divorce process that she had to go through. Going back and forth to the courts, the burden of figuring out financial issues, the trauma of being ridiculed and belittled by her ex-husband was taking a toll on her. I thought that she deserved a listening ear and offered to give her a little back massage to ease her tension. The chair had a tall back, and I in my high heels just leaned over and started giving her a massage. As I pressed her shoulders, I felt something pop at my right thigh, and a little pain. I brushed it aside, thinking that it will just go away after a while.

No, it did not go away. I pretended that it was not there. I continued doing my walks, hikes, treadmill, & stretches. I even remembered that I went to a park with some friends. We did exercises on some stops: uneven bars, sit-ups, etc. I followed someone on the monkey bars and jumped to dismount. (I dread thinking of the pain if my femur broke then.)

The pain did not go away. I visited the chiropractor and asked some people to give me a massage on my right leg. The chiropractor took an X-ray, but did not see anything wrong in it. He showed it to me, too, but of course, I did not see any problem either (how would I know?).

But months passed, and the pain was still there. It had become more intense, and I definitely told myself that I should go see a doctor – after our college nursing class reunion in California in July. At the reunion, my friends gave me clear instructions: see a doctor as soon as you return.

And that’s what I did. The day after returned I went to see a family practitioner. He did some tests, took an X-ray and asked me to return the following day for an ultrasound. The next day it was so painful, and I have to hang on to the rails to go down the stairs. It was not possible to put any weight on my right leg. Getting on the car was very painful and difficult. When we reached the office, I asked for a wheelchair.

The technician told me to sit on the ultrasound table, and later on, to lie down on the table. I tried, but the pain was so severe. She helped me up the ultrasound table. Eeeeeeew! I screamed in pain. She did the ultrasound quickly, and told me that there was no bleeding, in fact, there was nothing wrong with my right leg from what data they had so far. At this point, I realized I will have to go through more tests, and asked to be taken to an emergency room.

So, for the first time in my life, I was in an EMS vehicle, with 2 burly guys, taken to the Emergency Room of Laurel Medical Center. I had another X-ray at the ER. “They told you that there is no fracture? “ he asked, as he spouted out unprintable expletives. Later on, the ER doctor told me that there was something suspicious in the X-ray. He offered to find a good doctor that takes care of these things (I can tell it was something serious). He later told me there was a place for me at John Hopkins Hospital, and that I will be sent there.

Well, everything, as they say, is history. I was transported to Johns Hopkins Hospital at 3:30 AM After a series of tests, the diagnosis was multiple myeloma, or cancer of the bone marrow. I spent around 3 hrs at the outpatient clinic, and around 14 hours in the emergency room.

Two years later, as I hobble towards the park’s restroom, I cannot help but compare my life then and now. I may be handicapped (and jobless) now, but I have learned so many new things in the past two years: I got a fresh perspective of life; to worry over something only if it has a bearing on eternity. I am more relaxed and contented (easier to live with?), and learned to enjoy the simpler things of life: clap at the antics of the barn swallow as it flits around me, pay attention to the calling sound of the red-winged blackbird, examine and admire the exquisite design of the water lilies, inhale and enjoy the cool breeze by the lake.

Oh I hope that you too will slow down, take a closer look at the miracles around you, and enjoy them today!